Trump Turns Rose Garden Damage Into Scandal, Declares Himself ‘Detective-in-Chief’

Donald Trump says he has solved a peculiar White House mystery, declaring himself “detective-in-chief” after spotting a massive 25-yard gouge in the Rose Garden’s newly installed limestone.

In a fiery Truth Social post, the president said security cameras caught subcontractors damaging the stone with a broken steel cart “rubbing hard against the soft, beautiful surface.”

Trump vowed to replace the stone, fine the contractor, and blacklist the firm from future work.

The discovery adds to his whirlwind of White House renovations, from gilded Oval Office décor to plans for a massive 90,000-square-foot East Wing ballroom.